Love in the life of every person brings vivid emotions: an exciting expectation of a phone call, anticipation of a new meeting, exciting moments of dates, etc.
It seems that wings have grown behind you, you want to hug the whole world and tell everyone what a wonderful man you met, if not for one “but”: your beloved is married, but, alas, not with you.
Since childhood, many have been familiar with the proverb “You cannot build happiness on someone else’s misfortune,” it comes to mind those lucky ones who managed to fall in love with an unfree man.
But is she worth believing? And first you need to figure out what to do with a married man: to withdraw from the family or remain on the rights of a lover.
Fell in love with a married: what to expect or future prospects
So you fell in love with a married man. Someone learns about a man’s marital status before starting a serious relationship, but for someone this news becomes an unpleasant surprise.
What to be prepared for:
1. The feeling of constant jealousy. Often men reiterate to their mistresses that they no longer have a previous relationship with their wife; both physical and moral ties are lost. Perhaps this is the case, but it will be increasingly difficult to believe in it when a loved one spends time with his family.
2. New Year, March 8, February 14, his birthday: Be prepared for having these holidays without him. Maybe lucky and more: he will run for an hour, but all this time he will nervously glance at his watch.
3. Calls from his wife during your dates. Yes, he has a wife, and she has to be reckoned with. He will answer her calls that the business meeting has dragged on, got stuck in traffic, and let her go without him. At the same time, your attempts to reach him while he is at home will be futile.
4. To constant restrictions. For example, your meetings will be held exclusively in your apartment, and you can call him only during the working day. Joint outings will be possible, but to those places where no one knows you.
But not everything is as bad as it might seem at first glance. Relationships with a married man are not always hopeless. You can appear in his life when their marriage is already bursting at the seams, so it’s a stone's throw to divorce. You will only become a catalyst for this process. Or he will fall in love with you so much that he will leave his wife without any hesitation.
How to behave if you fell in love with a married
There are several options for the development of these difficult relationships:
• you delete it from your life and forget it like a nightmare;
• you go to great lengths to achieve his divorce from his wife, and after him he marries you;
• you remain on the rights of his secret lover, with whom he meets secretly from his second half.
After making this or that decision, it is necessary to develop a detailed plan for further actions. In such circumstances, it is necessary to discard unnecessary emotions and understand yourself, your desires and opportunities, because on one side of the scale you can stand your relationship with this man, and on the other - his family and, possibly, children. The choice is not easy, but it is still there.
Fell in love with a married man: how to forget him
For you, love for a married man was an overwhelming burden. Perhaps you realized that he will never leave the family, although he assures the opposite, or your relationship has not moved to the stage when there is no turning back.
To forget it is necessary:
1. To part with him. Yes exactly. You need to inform your man that from this moment you end your relationship. Many women sin by trying to nullify the relationship, while going on a last date, coaxing for a cup of coffee, give another chance, after which that's all. No, you need to break this vicious circle once and for all. At the same time, a man must understand that this whole scene with parting is played out not with the goal of playing on his nerves, but this, indeed, is the end.
2. Burn all bridges: do not answer his phone calls, delete his number from the phone book, throw away joint photos, do not ask common acquaintances about him, remove from sight the things that remind him of him.
3. Cry out. No need to build yourself an iron lady at first. Yes, you are morally broken, it’s hard for you, so give free rein to tears, hit a pillow and tell your friend about how your life was unfairly treated in the tenth circle. Do not accumulate negativity in yourself, you need to throw it out. Working with a psychologist will be a good help on the way to a new life.
4. Start living anew. Parting is always painful, but life continues after it. Start going out with friends in public places, shop at your favorite stores. In a word, pamper yourself and do not deny yourself anything. Feel the taste for life.
Fell in love with a married man: how to make him make a final decision
You made the decision to fight for your happiness at all costs. You fell in love with a married man, which means it's time to act. No one has the right to blame you for this, because you cannot command your heart. Anyone can be in your place.
What to do if you don’t have the strength to break off this relationship, in a word, what you need to do if you want to become his only one:
1. Be honest with yourself: indeed, it is love or simply the opportunity to assert oneself. Of course, a married man is not the ultimate dream of every woman, but his willingness to leave the family for your sake cannot but be flattered.
2. Weigh your chances. Many begin to directly torture their beloved with questions “when will you leave your family”, “how much longer can I wait. But here one should not hope for an honest answer, not a single man will say that for him this is just an affair. He will shirk, ask for time, etc. This does not mean that he does not feel serious feelings, he simply did not decide what to do. In this case, it is necessary to take control of the situation: to designate the time limits for waiting for its final decision.
3. Do not repeat the mistakes of his wife. Your man often complains that in that family he lacks affection and support, and only you understand him - feel free to use it. Let him feel that you are the girl he needs.
4. Try to look as attractive as possible at each of your meetings. What sets you apart from his wife is a meeting with you like a breath of fresh air. While he is gone, you have time to put yourself in order and be ready for a date. No washed bathrobes, hair curlers, face masks, all that many women sin after several years of marriage.
5. Make him jealous. Sitting on two chairs may well suit him. Why leave the familiar comfort zone when everything is calm and good on both sides. Show him that the light did not converge on him, that you are receiving attention from other men. The main thing is not to overdo it. You better know your chosen one, so you will feel how far you can go so as not to lose him forever, but, on the contrary, to further inflame his interest.
You must understand that sometimes not only months, but also years can pass from the moment your relationship begins to divorce it. Are you ready for such a long wait? Is it worth it? You also have to answer these questions yourself. You need to be prepared for the fact that even after a divorce, he may not stop communicating with his ex-wife if they have joint children in that marriage.
What to do if you fell in love with a married man, but he doesn’t want to change anything
It also happens that for some reason a man cannot leave his family for you. In it, it can be kept by small children who do not want to be hurt by the divorce of mother and father, general monetary obligations, and so on. It would seem, why waste time on such a relationship, but feelings are stronger. In such circumstances, psychologists recommend adhering to the following rules, the observance of which will help to transfer the current situation more easily, and eventually to completely get rid of hopeless relationships.
In this case, you should:
1. Put your interests first. Yes, you are aware of the fact that at this stage you formally take the second place in the life of your man, therefore you only meet with him at a time convenient for you. Your daily routine should not adapt to it.
2. Do not turn into his housekeeper, which is preparing dinner for his coming, let his wife do it. Do not burden yourself, because you can always order ready-made food at home. Let the man take care of this.
3. Do not discuss his wife with him. This should be a closed topic for you. Why poison your life with stories about your rival. Let it be for a few hours, but it will be completely yours.
4. Do not try to tell his wife about your connection. Of course, you can try to fine-tune the situation that the spouse of your chosen one finds out about your relationship. If after this it comes to a divorce, it is unlikely that your loved one will run to make you an offer. Staying in constant scandals with his wife, he will blame you for everything that is happening. Do you need it?
5. To be in constant search. It must be remembered that a married lover is a temporary man who should not be chosen. Do not give all your attention only to a married friend, be constantly among people, go on dates, so you will have more chances to meet your real second half.
Being a lover of a married man is not easy. You have to constantly restrain emotions tearing out, save up negative, share your beloved man with another woman. But such a relationship can have a happy ending if two people love each other and sincerely want to be together.
